Fast Friends Too Soon?
A Note to Minions:
It happens when you're the new kid on the block: all your co-workers are Facebook friends and drinking on Fridays and you’re getting stressed out because you’ve worked there a month and no invitations have come your way. Take a moment to Back Up and look at the larger picture.
Some of your co-workers have worked there longer than you’ve been out of high school. They have crafted their friendships to exceed office-level politeness slowly and carefully over the years. They have also decided who does not deserve their attention or who could hinder their professional growth and development.
While it’s smart to network, it’s also smart to know when to hold off and let friendships develop naturally.
Start slowly: Be sure to say Hello and Ciao when coming and going. Ask busy co-workers if they need help with their projects. Come in with treats (homemade, bought, fruit salad, doesn’t matter) on Fridays.
Make the first moves: Show you’re friendly. Invite them to a lake day if you have a Saturday free. Go shopping after work with the person you’ve been working late with every day this week. Grab a beer! (just one...)
After several months at a job you feel you’d be recommended for, it’s appropriate to add people on work-based network sites such as LinkedIn. Wait for a few non work-related outings to add them on friend-based sites such as Facebook.
It’s better to take your time and get a good judge of character and work ethic before getting too close to the wrong people, no matter how much of an outsider you may feel like at first.
A Note to Supervisors:
Please, Please be careful about not lumping your staff together. Although two people (or a small group) may be friends, that does not mean that their work efforts, ethic, or product should be tied together.
Remember: You want your staff to like each other! A little competition is healthy, but when your staff is friendly with each other, they are more likely to help each other out, bounce ideas off each other, and will be less inclined to avoid asking for help due to their ego or fear that someone else will get the credit for a job well done.
On another note, don’t friend your staff on anything other than work-based networking sites until they feel they can speak with you freely (or, after they have moved on in the workforce). It truly saves a lot of awkwardness.